"Gotcha Day"

I debated whether to acknowledge that I'm not just any kind of parent.  I'm an adoptive mom.   Today, being an adoptive mom is relevant.  So, for what it's worth, I have three kids.  All three adopted.  One domestic and two international.  One through the China Special Needs program.  All totally adorable and worth the wait for each.

Anyway, I'll admit it.  When it comes to international adoptive parenting, I'm a bit of a fail.  Not when it comes to paperwork.  I rock at international adoption paperwork.  Or I did the last time I went through the process from beginning to end.  Of course, that was back in 2007, nine years ago now.  But I'm not so great at the "gotcha" stuff.

To be honest, I don't really like the expression "Gotcha Day."  And for those of you who don't know what that means, it's the day a family "gets" its new child.  As in, yesterday I was childless, and today I "gotcha," so I'm a mom.  It's a thing.  And I don't love it for a couple reasons:

1. I didn't just "get" my kids.  Remember I mentioned the paperwork?  I mean, there is - as there should be - a lot of hoop-jumping.  A lot.  (Not as intrusively done as the domestic adoption experience I had, but still.  Quite a bit.)  
2. I "get" new intellectual content.  I might "get" the flu.  Or a really cool new car.  Or some neato school supplies.  But I didn't just "get" my kids.  Becoming a mom was truly life-changing.  And that expression feels like it devalues the significance of the relationship and the changes in my kids' lives and in mine.

As it turns out, I'm  not very good at keeping track of Gotcha Days.  With three kids, each with different birthdays, different "Gotcha" days, different adoption days (in China), and different adoption days in the United States, it's just too much.  I really want to celebrate my kids.  I do.  I love them.  I'm so grateful to have them in my life.  And I want them to always know how important and how loved they are.  But I just can't keep up with all the celebrating.  

We have baby books for each of them - and our meeting moment is captured in each.  But other than that, I have to watch Facebook to realize that it's someone's Gotcha Day.  That's how I discovered today is Tot's Gotcha Day.  

Happy G-Day Tot!  I hope you know how much we love you every day.